The Irony of Life

It's amazing to me how God uses irony in our lives. Recently, I've been reading the book, "A New Kind of Christian" by Brian McLaren, and many of the principles put forth in the book resound deeply within me. As I finished chapter 15, I felt closer to God than I ever have before. I felt for the first time that I knew exactly what my purpose was. For as long as I can remember, I have had certain thoughts that I thought were uniquely mine. Thoughts that, if they were shared with other people, I thought would be considered "unorthodox". And many of them haven't come to my mind for several years. Until now. As I have been studying the emerging church movement and the deconstruction of modernism, many of the principles contained therein resonate so deeply within me that I know that's what God is preparing me for. In these moments where my past and my future collide, I feel that the veil between the magnificent and the mundane, the holy and the human, is very thin, almost fleeting. It's as if I'm standing on the edge of something great, something greater than my mind can imagine from my present vantage point, but which has the power to transform my future.
But as my my past and my future collide, I'm caught in the middle, in the whirlpool of my ingrained theology which must be deconstructed if I want to move further into my future. This causes chaos because I have a new theology in my head which is not fully formed yet, and which at many points is in direct opposition to my "traditional" theology.
But all praise and glory be to God, who is over ALL! Amidst my confusion, God's hand is present and will sustain me. God is shouting to me over the crashing of the torment, "My son, I have faith in you! I believe that you will fulfill this purpose for which I have placed you here. Now you must have faith in yourself. Have faith that you will succeed. Have faith that you can make a difference. As a team, you and I will do great things. You might be my chosen vessel to transform the world!" And with this reassurance, I know I can press on. I know I will make it.

Matt